Watching My Hair.......

turn grey as I speak. That's what teenagers do to you, you know. They make your hair turn grey.

My daughter who is 16 years old is sending me to my grave early. Let me just step back in time about 6 weeks. A male acquaintance who will be 20 in May took it upon himself to contact my 16 year old daughter and asked if she could "hang out" with him. This all happened while my daughter was visiting her dad. She told him "sure." So he went over to her dad's house and hung out for a couple of hours and then at the end of the night they kissed.

When I found this out, I went sideways on my daughter and told her that she could not date him. I explained to her that he was too old for her. Then 2 weeks after this discussion with my daughter I find out that she is still trying to spend time with this guy. So I removed her driving privileges for disobeying me.

The problem with this is that there is 3 1/2 years difference in age, he is an adult and she is under the "age of consent." In Oregon the age of consent is 18.

Okay, now it has been 6 weeks since the first incident and guess what arrives in the mail.......my phone bill. And on this phone bill there are numerous calls to this guy's cell phone. After further investigation I find out that he has been calling my daughter's best friend and doing 3 way calls and vise verse.

I confronted my daughter with said evidence and she didn't deny any of it (she is now grounded from the phone and the computer for the next month and still cannot drive.) I then call her friend and tell her that the gig is up and I know everything and asked her to stop being the go between and she completely understood and is very willing to comply with my request. After that call I called "the guy's" number that was on the phone bill and requested that all contact stop at once. He then said that he could do whatever he wanted to do and that I was harassing him and if I called him again he would pursue legal action against me. I told him that he was not to call my home or make contact with anyone in my home or I would do the same.

I next called the police department to find out what the laws are and if there is anything that can be done if he continues to pursue a relationship with my daughter. Here is what I was told, "the kiss between my daughter and this guy is not a crime." Well my understanding is that any "intimate contact" with someone under the age of consent was a crime. Does that mean that adult men can go around kissing girls under the age of 18 and it is alright? I posed this question to the dispatcher and she is going to have a police officer call me back.

Now how screwed up is that? I can't wait to hear what the police officer has to tell me. In the meantime, if any of you out there have gone through something like this already and have any advice for me, please tell me!